Monday, November 17, 2008

Thank you

Thank you to everyone for your kind notes and words of encouragement and sympathy. The funeral was this past Saturday and our family was comforted by so many of my brother-in-law's friends and colleagues who traveled from all over the world to be with my sister, my niece and nephew during this time.

Funerals are strange events for me. Reluctantly, they become giant family reunions...

That's my Jonathan there in the tie. Yes, that is a smile. He was so glad to see all of his cousins again especially his buddy, Daniel my baby brother's youngest son.

...and/or massive networking extravaganzas which is such a bummer because it all takes place at the same time my mind is trying to figure out mine and my loved one's mortality, ugh.

Former Olympians Marty Liquori, John Carlos outside after the funeral

Funerals don't stop requests for autographs - Vince Matthews agreeing to one

Driving from the funeral to the burial was a sobering experience despite the prodding of billboards whizzing by...

I wonder if I would have cried less had I had a shot before the buriel??

We had a mile long processional that passed through 3 towns

During the drive to the burial, I couldn't stop reflecting on the many drives my Dad took me and my younger sister, Antoinette, to visit Cynthia and Larry.

I remember these roads so well. As soon as I got my driver's license, me and my sister Antoinette would take the 2 hour drive to see our new niece and nephew, Tamaiya and Bonn, in a heartbeat. We loved those kids so much, we wouldn't think twice about driving way down South Jersey to see them. Now they have their own children, and it was strange to realize time passing through the faces of the next generation -

my brother with the children of our niece and nephew and Larry's grands

The long ride through Atlantic City showed the changing landscape from marsh and brush

to Casino towers and remarkably -


All in all, I am often left a bit weaker after any funeral. It is just too difficult to comprehend. There are never any words or expression of sympathy that ever seems appropriate. Oh, there is one expression, "We all want to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."

So, for now, whenever I feel kind of blue, I'm going to look at pictures of my children, nieces and nephews, who seem to love each other's company, and find a way to smile.


Mary Anne said...


I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy when someone we love has to leave us. The best we can do is cherish those who are still with us.

Virtuous said...

It is always a sobering and diffcult season....
I believe you articulated it best how I feel during that time too.

You will find your smile again thru other's smiles. XOXO

Beverly said...

No matter how hard it hurts we can always remember the love and the laughter.

cici said...

Sorry for you lost. You have such a way with words and photos, you expressed it beautifully. I must agree that some of my best family pictures been from funerals. It's sad but true.

Melodye said...

You have such a gift with words. You've summed up the feelings of grief perfectly. The unrealness of it and the fact that even though our world has been torn apart, life does go on. As you know, it does get better, but it will take time. Take care of yourself.

Beate said...

Dear Deborah. I am so sorry for your and your famiys loss. May you find comfort in remembering.

Beatriz said...

My thoughts and prayers are for you and your family. Thank you for sharing with us what a remarkable person G. Larry James was.

Lynn said...

Yes, funerals often do turn into family reunions and I'm glad to see your son smile. When I die, I want a memorial service, but I want to be cremated with the cheapest box they have. No burial site for me. No watching the casket get lowered into the ground. I want people to remember me and look forward to when they can see me again.

Take it easy, think good thoughts and while you let yourself feel sad, don't wallow. You know your BIL would NOT want that.