Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I don't live at the zoo

I love the wild life that hang out in my yard. Even though I can't grow vegies or certain flowers, like petunias because the woodchucks can devour several flats of them in an hour (I learned this a few summers ago when one did just that. As a result I discovered the beauty and variety of Dahlias.) I've tried to be a good neighbor to my wild friends. I put up with them swimming and dieing in the pool. I put up with how they "winter" in my pool house by making hibernation beds out of the batting to my garden furniture cushions that I have to replace each year. I put up with all of that until one of them decided to move into my kitchen.

I have mice.

I've tried being very fastidious by not keeping any food out that a mouse could eat but it seems that this doesn't bother it, because it still hangs around. As a matter of fact, it BRINGS food into my kitchen and stores it in my drawers and cabinets tucked away between the Fiestaware. I cleared out the cabinets of dishes and the little shits shits and stores seed (stolen from the bird feeders I presume - CSI is good for something) in the now empty cabinets that I must vacuum and disinfect on a daily basis. This was seriously eating into my knitting time so I had to do the drastic thing, I called an exterminator. Now that my PETA environmentalist son is off to college, I can get away with this without threat of being picketted.

Unfortunately, I called an exterminator from Brooklyn. All wildlife, save roaches, have already been exterminated from Brooklyn except, of course, for rats. Those suckers are alive and well. My cousin's husband owns an exterminating business so I figured A) he will be gentle with the poisons if I ask him and B) he would be gentle with the bill.

WRONG. People, do not call a city exterminator if you live in the suburbs. The guy wanted to blow up my yard after one of these jumped out

and one of these kept dropping tree nuts onto his truck -

but I think the clincher was this fella -

When he flew onto the pool house getting ready to order take out (bunny, squirrel or chipmunk) the exterminator from Brooklyn said as he took refuge in his truck, "lady, you don't need an exterminator, you need a zoo keeper!"


Mary Anne said...


I had tears from laughter on my face after reading this post. I can just picture the exterminator ducking into his truck after seeing all those wild creatures, but definitely the hawk (is that a hawk or a falcon?). So, did he ever go into the house and deal with the meese?

Lynn said...

That hawk is BEAUTIFUL!!! Forget the exterminator, hire that hawk to get that mouse!!

tonya5015 said...

Deborah, I am sitting at work (yes I'm working, LOL) and I am about to fall out of my chair from laughter. The woman in the next cube keeps asking me if I'm OK. This is too funny. I swear I would just up and move. I am deathly afraid of mice and rats and bugs and snakes and on occasion squirrels and pigeons, did I say mice? I work in Washington DC (yes I am a government employee hard at work) and the squirrels and pigeons are ruthless. unlike the normal fur and feathered friends the city ones don't scurry away when you approach them. the plant their feet firmly and stand their ground. Ever been chased by a pigeon?

Rebecca said...

that's a lot of animals. no doubt your guy was scared and wanted to drop a bomb and kill everything. hope you got your mice problem worked out. i've had that problem this summer. we killed 5 or 6, i think. then got a new garage door, that kept them out better, and replaced a service door under a staircase, so i think our problem had to do with access. but i totally understand your frustration with having to clean and sanitize and throw out mouse-soiled foodstuffs!

hakucho said...

Beautiful photos :)
Good luck getting rid of your mice!

Crystal said...

This is too funny!

The Crafty Weasel said...

You're one good photographer, woman! :-) How's the kiddo doing at university? And more importantly, how is mum doing?! :-)

Anonymous said...

LOL. Are you sure you don't live at the zoo??

AR said...

Hehehe, poor city guy.
Yeah, too bad the hawk doesn't get the mouse. I love nature, but I want it to stay outside! Thank God for my cat, she is a good mouser!

CrazyFiberLady said...

Ewww mice. You are too funny though. I still find it amazing the collection of wildlife you have in your yard not more than two towns over from me. Maybe my little wild things are keep these other wild things out. They sure act to keep the cats out of particular rooms at particular times ;)